Chasing Baby

Should have known

About an hour after I posted the latest entry on here yesterday, it officially became my time of the month.  I was still feeling pretty bummed, but it made more sense.  Now I am just a little bummed today and popping Motrin for cramps.  I've been waiting for the Motrin to work so I can take the kids to the grocery.  600mg should do something after an hour and a half, right?

Off the Radar

I am definitely having one of those days.  Mike has been travelling a lot.  Much of his at home time has been taken up with the deck project.  I know I have been complaining some, but I haven't voiced that much of what has been actually crossing my mind.  I have been feeling like a single mom for about half the week for the last 2 months.  I really give credit to those women who are single moms!

The way I manage to keep going is the support of my girlfriends, but that hasn't at the level I needed recently. 

Here is the moment for my pity party: I'm feeling incredibly lonely and believe I have fallen off the radar of my closest girlfriends.  I had one tell me last year that I come across as so self-assured and together that it appears I don't need help.  That in the midst of feeling like I am drowning.

All of this is making me think what do I really need right now.  I need to know someone is keeping an eye on me.  Calling occassionally to check on me and make sure I am okay.  Rather than I calling to always check on everyone else.  And feeling like they must assume I'm fine since I am calling to check on them.

The tipping point for today's pity party is my parents are coming to visit for the weekend tomorrow, and I desparately need to clean the house.  Cleaning has become a near impossibility with a 3 year-old and 10 month-old.  Just getting things straightened up long enough to dust, vacuum, and scrub is exhausting.  So, I had asked Mike before his latest business trip if he could take this afternoon off so I could completely concentrate on cleaning.

He checked his schedule and assured me he could.  When I asked again last night, he said he would come home right after his 11:30 conference call.  I thought that would be great because I could get started right after lunch.  I was almost excited about cleaning. 

Now it is 1:30, and I haven't even received a phone call.  Apparently I have fallen off my husband's radar too.  This added to the way my birthday/Mother's Day was is really making me feel pretty lousy.

The one thing about having kids is you feel like your pity parties have to be very short.  You don't want those precious little people to worry about you.  You also don't have the luxury of spending too much time on self pity.  Someone is eating something she shouldn't or putting something into something he shouldn't.

Phone just rang.  He is on his way home.  Guess I get to start cleaning.  Yay.  (Lots of sarcasm)