Months have passed since last I posted. Months have passed since I even logged into my account. Three months to be exact.
I am immersed in raising my kids. Being a mom to Tressel has tested my levels of creativity (keeping a toddler occupied while I nurse the baby) and patience (how to not overreact at things that happen-usually while I am nursing the baby). Being a mom to Scarlet is easy. She is the type of baby who goes with the flow, and I only wish I could lavish her with even more attention.
Even with those challenges, I am in awe of how much Tressel is learning and growing. When he asks a question or needs assistance with something, I have learned that it is worth pushing to see how much more he can absorb or do. He is spelling words verbally. He officially can dress himself now.
The one thing he doesn't seem to want to really do is potty training. We had tried a couple of times, but I didn't want to push it. Now that I am getting ready to enroll him in preschool for the fall, I see the need to work on the potty training. A couple of weeks ago, he decided he was ready. We had three days with only 1 accident, and I thought we were well on our way. Forget that. He likes sitting on it, but only wants to sit on it.
The thing I have to keep reminding myself is what a sweet boy he really is. Any outbursts I can attribute to both the adjustments of being 2 1/2 and having a baby sibling. He is so affectionate toward his sister, and he eats it up when I hold him. I really wish I could clone myself so they could both have enough of me.
Scarlet will be 6 months tomorrow, and she can't wait until she can chase after Tressel. She is rolling, getting up on all fours and rocking, and babbling up a storm. It may be wishful thinking, but I swear she is on the verge of saying Ma Ma. When she wants me to come to her, she cries the M sound. Her smile melts me.
To be completely honest, I could have found some time for blogging if I had wanted. One of my friends convinced me last fall to join Facebook. I had resisted for months. I'm not sure if I timed it right based on my recovering from the pregnancy hormones. I have been spending my spare time being rather introspective about my high school and college experiences.
I had maintained contact with my close friends from earlier in my life and didn't think I needed to reconnect with those who were more of acquaintances. The reconnecting has brought to the surface my joys and insecurities from those times. As I share current photos and information, a part of me wonders the context in which it is being read. Those people are filtering the current me through the lens from when we knew one another. As I am doing.
I have decided this might be the perfect time for this because I am forcing myself to revisit those issues to improve myself and hopefully be better for me and for the important people in my life (my kids, husband, family, friends).
I definitely could not have done this a few years ago before I was pregnant with Tressel. It was challenging enough interacting with friends who were having children. A few of those I reconnected with are married with no children. Part of me wonders if they are part of the infertile club. Much of the Facebook communication tends to be superficial, so I don't feel comfortable relating my story or reaching out to them about it. But maybe with time it will be possible.
I suppose it is also possible that my new normal of moving away from trying to have children to raising children and reconnecting with people from earlier in my life may be a really good thing. Not all of the days are easy, but the joy I am experiencing with my kids is more than I could have anticipated.
